How to Make a Mediocre Bunt Cake: Dealing with the Fact that During Your Life, You Will Sometimes Fail

Step 1: Be Prepared
Tried and true, the boy scouts got it right. Except this time, we're preparing, not to be eaten by bears or build fires from tissues, we are preparing for failure. Before you start, you have to be able to accept that not all ventures will be fruitful. Not all Bunt Cakes end up delicious. Even though you follow all the directions and give it your all it could still come crashing down around your hopeful little ears. That's why you have to be prepared.

After Step 1... take a break with the worrying and put your plan into action. You ask her out, you go to try-outs, you do the interview, you mix the batter and pop that baby in the oven... and sometimes you succeed. If you succeed... FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC! That is it, you didn't fail! Stop reading this and go succeed everywhere!! If something didn't turn out right...

Step 2: Failure
Boo. Sorry. Something went wrong. She ditched you, you tripped during dashes, you spit on your prospective employer's face, the cake tastes like shit. Sometimes, this is the way the cookie crumbles, this is the way the condom snaps, and there's no use crying over spilled milk. But you know what... sometimes it makes you feel better to cry... or maybe throw things. Do that during this step. If you're going down and feeling it hard, go out with a bang. But not too big. Don't be a bitch about it.

Step 3: Getting over it
This step... involves lots of hugs; get some of your best friends, eat some ice cream, eat some chips, have a beer (one please), and maybe do a dance. Watch some vh1 celebrity dating shows. Those are the best. Oh, and this should take like... 1 day. For reals. Grow some balls. Sometimes its hard, but it isn't the end of the world.

Step 4: Try Again
Don't not try again! That is the biggest mistake you can make. Try!! Maybe she was a bitch, the coach was high, the company is going bankrupt, and guess what, you printed that recipe from www.foodtomakepeoplepuke.com. Mistakes happen. You failed. Try again. Don't be a sissy. Man up.


That's it. A guide to failing. This blog isn't about self help... okay, sometimes it is. But mostly its just whatever I feel like writing... kind of like... everyone elses blogs are? Tomorrow... we'll talk about something else. Till then... bunt cake?